I have been thinking a lot about family over these past three days.  For those who celebrate Christmas, as the festive season approaches, many will spend it with family.  For some that will be an enjoyable prospect but for others, it can be an ordeal to get through.  It doesn't really matter what the occasion is, almost every culture and religion has a festival that centres around family being together.

Family life has changed enormously over the past 60 years.  Studies show that in the 1950's for example, people were far less likely to move away from the family unit.  Children grew up, married and raised their children in close proximity to their parents and grandparents.  Families also tended to be larger than they are today.  Then gradually in the late 60's and early 70's, people started to migrate to different parts of the country or indeed to completely new ones.  This was largely driven by the emergence of commercial enterprises who began to develop national and international structures.  Suddenly people where moving for their jobs.  Pursuing careers in different places.  The age of singledom was born. 

These effects have been far reaching.  Life Coaching began to thrive off the back of this new trend.  People who might have relied upon the family unit to bounce thoughts and ideas off were suddenly more isolated and remote.  They perhaps also realised that advice from well meaning family members was not always objective.  There are now a whole raft of people who live alone and have chosen career over relationships.  Many 40 somethings with big careers, living ex patriot lifestyles in foreign countries.  They have all made sacrifices.

The adaptability of humanity never ceases to amaze me though. Whenever there are significant changes in social and family trends, new habits develop.  There is a new type of family now for many, not those of blood relatives, but of friends who share similar values and views.  The truth is that you build new families wherever you decide to put your roots down.  I left home when I was 22 years old in search of a career in London.  I have now lived in London for longer than I lived in my home town and I have built a new family.  In many ways when my Father died, it made it easier for me to adjust.  When there are some degrees of separation between you and your blood relatives, the grieving process is made easier somehow.  I also have a mother who has a debilitating mental illness which has stripped away most traces of the person that I once knew.  In the space of less than 2 years both of my parents in some way have gone.  Although Mum is physically here, she is not somebody I really recognise anymore.  I am tremendously lucky to have an amazing partner to share my life with and close circle of people that matter.   The way I see it depends on how I choose to look at the whole situation.  I could see it as a tragedy or I could see all of the great  people that I have around me.  The way you see it will also make a big difference to the quality of your life.  Surround yourself with great people.  Relationships are worth investing in.