My partner's Father passed away yesterday after losing his battle with cancer.  By all accounts he died peacefully,  and of course at the end, I think that is really all that counts.  He was in his mid seventies, much the same age as my Father who has also passed.  When my Dad died, the vicar who conducted the service reminded me of the importance of saying thank you to those who have died for the influence they have had on our lives. 

I think everybody approaches their first meeting with a loved one's parents with a degree of trepidation.  I think that was an understatement for me.  My first trip down to the South of France to meet them was pretty frightening for me.  That was marked by having a large brandy after breakfast on a morning flight down to Nice from London.  For me there were the added complexities of my limited command of the French language.  I need not have worried.  My first thanks come from the memory of somebody who was accepting of me from the outset.  He welcomed me into his home and shared his finest whisky with me and although the language barrier could have been a challenge, it really wasn't because somehow we got by and communicated with one one another just fine for the most part.  The social setting of the lunch or dinner table, fine wine or scotch always made for happy times.

He raised two fine sons and I must thank him for the one that I share my life with, I am so very grateful for that.  I would like to thank him for showing me the sights of Monaco and St. Tropez and many other places that he took us to on the Cote D,Azur and in Italy.  Thanks for the endless laughter and stories that his sometime erratic, and scary driving have provided us with at dinner parties and when talking to friends and family.  I would like to thank him for the beautiful hand made model boat that sits upon our book case.  For the many things that he did around the house.  Some to fix things and other times when he inadvertently did more harm than good!  It all came from a good place and a desire to help.

I admire this man for his courage and his determination.  When we visited Cannes back in June of this year he appeared unwell.  He defied doctors advice in July of this year and made a trip to London when he was clearly very sick.  It only became apparent in the weeks that followed that he had lung cancer.  I admired his resolve to make his own decisions and to standby them.  I also admired his refusal to accept what he was being told by the medical profession.

Death does not make anybody perfect by any stretch of the imagination. He was far from perfect but in many ways no less perfect than the next man.  I wish him peace, light and rebirth in his passing.  I also wish peace and healing for my partner and his family at this time.  When somebody moves on, despite their faults, they leave a gap and they also leave an imprint on each person they have touched in some way so that their memory lives on.  Thank you for the valuable part you have played in my life.  Rest in peace.