Many people that I see have an on-going dilemma of conflicting demands competing for their time and energy.  There are  numerous ways to help people decide what is most important and what needs to be done first.  One approach is to use a bespoke problem solving matrix.  The first stage in that process is to write down absolutely everything that needs to be done.  The second stage is to consider how each one of those tasks will move you forward, i.e. what will be their overall impact and what would happen if they never got done?  The third stage is then to drop them into a comparison chart and to compare each one against the rest to decide which is more important.  You end up with a hierarchy to work from.

A number of years ago I was invited to attend a customer services course run by Mary Gober, founder of  company called Mary Gober International.  Mary had spent many years working with Blue Chips in the US and the Middle East and a former subsidiary of British Airways (for who I used to work), were so impressed with her method that Galileo UK invited her over to the UK and her programmes have now benefited the likes of Marks & Spencer and a number of other well known organisations.  If you are an organisation interested in improving your customer service experience you can find out more by logging on to:  http://www.marygober.com/.  One of things that I  particularly likes about Mary's programme was a powerful model that helped you to decide where best to direct your energies and time.  A diagram was used that consisted of three concentric circles.  The inner circle (or bullseye) was marked circle 1, the middle circle 2 and the outer circle 3.  Correspondingly, circle 1 was designated as "I can change or make a direct impact on this", circle 2 was designated as "I can influence the outcome of this" and finally circle 3 was designated as "I can neither change or influence anything in here".  It is not rocket science to then work out that you need to be spending time on activities/tasks that sit in either circle 1 or 2.  You need to find a way of letting go or disengaging from anything that resides in circle three because no matter how much time you spend there, you can't make a difference. 

Many people have relationship issues that they are struggling with.  It might be with family, friends or work colleagues.  Quite often a degree of suffering comes from the actions of people in these relationship groups.  The truth is, you cannot dictate how somebody will react or how they will show up for you.  You need to consider if you are in circles; 1,2 or 3.  If you are in 3 (quite often relationships are) you need to find a way of just letting go.  Focus your energy on the things that you know you can do that will make a true difference and free up your time and energy from those people, situations and things that you cannot change or influence.